Mourning and remembrance

White and plain cloth

In many Hindu communities, white is the colour of mourning, and family members attend the funeral and the days of rites afterward in white or plain cloth. In Bengal, Kerala, Tamil Nadu and other parts of the country, mourners often wear white, unbleached cotton or a very simple border. The colour is associated with simplicity and the setting aside of ornament. Not every community follows this: some wear black, grey or pale colours, and in many families today a plain, dark or muted saree is considered appropriate, and the custom is applied more loosely than it once was.

Bengal

In Bengal, the white saree is long associated with mourning and with widowhood, often worn without a coloured border or with a very thin one. Close relatives of the deceased wear plain white cloth during the shraddha period, and some men wear an unstitched white cloth. The practice for widows was far stricter in the past than it is now, and many women today wear colour after a loss, as reform movements and changing attitudes have shifted custom. Where white is worn, it is a mark of respect for the dead, not a requirement imposed on all women.

Kerala, Tamil Nadu and elsewhere

In Kerala, mourners wear white, and the cream mundu and plain cotton saree are common. Families in Tamil Nadu and Andhra may wear plain white or pale cotton for the days of rites, and in some Brahmin families the cloth is worn without a border. In parts of North India, mourners wear white to the funeral and for the thirteen days that follow in many families. Elsewhere, such as in Gujarat and Rajasthan, women attending a condolence visit may wear muted colours, as bright colours and heavy ornament are generally avoided.

Customs and etiquette

If you are attending a funeral or condolence visit, dress simply and modestly: a plain cotton saree in white, grey, pale blue or a muted colour, without jewellery or loud borders. Avoid red and bright festive colours unless you know that the family does not mind. Cover your shoulders and head if the family does, and ask a relative if you are unsure. Customs differ between communities, and some, such as Christians and Muslims, have their own dress for funerals. When in doubt, plain and dark or white is the safe choice.

Worth knowing

• Shraddha: The Hindu rites of remembrance, for which mourners often dress in plain white.
• White cotton saree: The simple undyed saree worn by mourners in many regions.
• Set mundu: The plain cream cloth worn in Kerala.
• Lal par saree: The white saree with a thin or no border worn in Bengal, kept plain in mourning.
• Thirteen days of rites: The period of mourning observed by many Hindu families in the north.

Good to know

• Keep a plain white or muted saree for condolence visits.
• Wash white cotton separately to avoid dye transfer.
• Ask the family about local custom if you are unsure what to wear.

Sources and further reading

• Mourning on Wikipedia
• Shraddha, Wikipedia